Labour of Love...?

The intricacies of Life are starting to wear me down. A depressing note to start on, but bear with me for a little wallowing - it has, after all, been a long and trying year.

This weekend was filled with relationships, what with repairing, breaking, discarding, ignoring, deliberating, forming and just catching up, it was more than a little eye opening...

Having decided that before the year is finished, I wanted to start the new year with less broken and damaged relationships than I had when this year started, I decided to mend a few that I had a huge part in wrecking - and really being the only one at fault for the mess if I have to be honest. Suffice to say, the drama leading up to the particular "repair" I planned ended up being far more stressful and taxing than the "repair" itself. Go figure!

Having done a lot of soul searching over the last few months since my most recent break-up, I must admit that after everything I don't think it would be worth it to try and form another romantic bond with anyone. Well... that isn't entirely true, sure it would be worth it, but I'm not bothered to schlep through all the hassle and teething required for a new attachment - I just don't think I could do it, even though I want it more than anything else in the world.

The revelation that I'm not the only person who feels this way is even more incredible, discovering more than a few friends of mine have also had enough of the drama and hassle that seems to go hand in hand with relationships these days. I do take heart in a newly wed couple I met on Saturday, very much in love and incredibly inspiring to see, and the very thing I long for... Maybe I should just admit defeat in this area of my life and resign myself to the fact that no matter how amazingly perfect a person I may find, I'm far from perfect - and that is, and always will be, the downfall of every serious relationship I form, me.

So I think I'll just stick to finding incredible friendships and leave the romantic stuff to the pros.

Life's little choices

Finally back again, and writing...

It's been a strange few months to say the least, yet another emotional roller coaster fraught with decisions, opportunities, chances and learned wisdom.

What to say - I've had a great couple of months and in the weeks ahead I'll outline just some of what has gone on. Don't fret though, it's all good!

Well, now that I've told you all this, I'm going to have to follow through and not procrastinate, but I'll do that later.

Life's little surprises!

Funny thing happened this weekend, well not just the one thing - but we'll get there in a bit. So, as I was saying before I interrupted myself, a funny thing happened this weekend: I started thinking (shock, horror, is the world coming to an end? And no, it doesn't hurt!) and questioning things I shouldn't be questioning because it just ends up with me running around in circles like a over-excited kid in an amusement park and then spending the next three weeks in a state of morose agitation and self-doubt which is pretty pointless an exercise.

It so happens that the great source of my consternation can be cleared up in a matter of moments, I just happen to be too lazy or too scared to actually address it - the scale of lazy or scared very much depending on my current caffeine level. So I best bite the bullet (the metaphor in this cliche is slightly more meaningful if you can guess the reason for the consternation), pull myself towards myself and really just address the bloody issue.

One of the other things that happened this weekend is I was able to catch up with some friends I hadn't seen in about six months - this is unacceptable, six months without meeting up, chatting over the phone or even emailing one another lit a fire under my posterior and I have made huge inroads into catching up with a great deal of my friends - and should you be one of them, my humblest apologies for being such a gormless idiot and not getting on this sooner. On the bright side though I was able to see one of my favourite cousins and have a good natter about quite a few things.

I worked pretty much the whole of yesterday, arriving at work at just before eleven in the morning and chipping away at a current project I'm enjoying emensely - leaving at just after ten in the evening to go home, on the way I managed to run out of petrol, and being that time of the month incidentally, no cash either! I ended up pushing my bike for seven kilometres, thought I best try to start it for good measure after the long push - lo and behold, it starts and I'm able to ride the rest of the way home which is approximately five kilometres further - so not out of petrol... Until I arrive fifty metres away from my security gate, this time completely out of petrol. It gave me a lot of time to think, reflect and mince my thoughts - needless to say, having to get up at four in the morning after arriving at quarter to twelve, and the depressing mood I'd endured during the afternoon and evening didn't leave me with warm cuddly notions to fall asleep to.

I seem to have woken up on the right side of the bed this morning, albeit with a few things still weighing heavily on my mind and made my way to work. Facebook first and a cup of coffee, to find out my ex-fiance is now married. This puts a huge smile on my face, knowing that she is happy now is strangely a great comfort. Just one of Life's little surprises I guess.

It's the weekend again...

Well, another week's shot past at the speed of, well faster than it should have in my humble opinion. I'm certain these time-bandits are laughing like maniacs at our collective mad scurrying around, trying in vain to get through all the week's work and various things-to-do in the remaining time they've not managed to steal yet because we would in fact notice. Hmmm.

I am in awe at the notion of it almost being the middle of the year already, it feels like last month I was sitting up at Beverlac with family and friends and enjoying my Christmas holiday - then I realise I probably will end up repeating what I've just committed to electronic paper again in another six months, which I will still feel passed in the mediocre space of a week.

In other news, the most amazing morning yesterday in Cape Town, a complete example of a year's weather system in the space of a morning, from spring to winter in the space of a few hours and an incredible light show to experience at the same time, I can't think of a more amazing or memorable ride to work, and I count myself lucky to have been able to watch it. The lightning storm, beautiful clouds, thunder showers and sun shining through the clouds took my mind off everything on the way into work and I arrived with a touch of sadness, not being able to continue watching the awesome show. (Oh, and just a note to say I unfortunately didn't take these beautiful pics, I wish I did though, the first one's by Lisa Scott and the others I have no idea.)

In other, completely unrelated news, I'm a grinning Cheshire Cat today, having just received a 15% increase in salary thanks to my hard work and effort - so I say "What bloody recession?" Ha ha ha ha, oh bugger - I'm starting to sound like one of those time-bandits...

And so the weekend starts.

I find it rather funny that all the work deadlines for the quarter always find themselves due in between the myriad of public holidays in and around Easter. If you're an employee, why do you slow down and get less productive, after all there are a lot less days around this month to do what is needed to complete the various things that are required to be finished.

Seriously, and if you're an employer, how do you expect to get any productive work through when, for example, April 2009 has every week being a working day shorter and your employees are acting as though the long weekend's have already started...

Now we all have to slog a little harder to fit what we should do timeously in five days, into the hectic four days allotted - thank you Religion, Government and a complete lack of sense.

Mind you, it's a great time to see one's friends and catch up on the busily frantic last few months, but wait - scratch that because all our friends are away on holiday someplace else... Maybe they're the clever ones.

Moaning aside, it is rather nice to have three and four day long weekends for a whole month, and today it starts with a good afternoon surf, some beer a bit after and time spent with an amazing bunch of people. I'm looking forward to the weekend - lets hope the politics take a small holiday too.

Political Correctness and all that...

Let me start by first saying I'm not a politically minded person in the least. Sure I have an idea of what's current and a notion of the various political standpoints of the many parties - these days it's hard to go anywhere without being bombarded with political rhetoric, that being said I do still have my opinions regarding our democracy and thus I feel I need to comment on the past few months in our sunny Rainbow Nation of South Africa - or is it...

I must say I'm more than a little despondent with the current political systems and structure of government, I mean are we as a country serious about electing someone who is mired by allegations (albeit now withdrawn) corruption charges, who is publicly opposed by Nobel Peace Prize winners and who seems to get out of every sticky situation with unimaginable public support as head of our government? It seems already a certainty but I'm sorry Mr. Zuma, I really can't endorse you as the best possible candidate to lead and represent South Africa.

As for the current ruling party, yes I am talking about the African National Congress. Are we seriously stupid enough to re-elect a government who have made outrageous and ultimately empty promises of upliftment of infrastructure and quality of life for all South Africans including jobs for all, housing, free schooling and decent health care - to date I haven't seen much of these brought to fruition... I mean, for the past four and a half years they have not only had majority, but more than the required sixty-five percent to effect legislation change to the Constitution pretty much unhindered, now I ask - what exactly have they done?

Of late though, there seems to have been a massive drive to improve the roads and infrastructure, and to clarify when I say of late I am in fact referring to the last two months, round about the same time the campaigning for the elections went into full swing - anyone seeing a parallel here? I happened to be watching television a few evenings ago and a teaser for a programme showcasing the government housing programme successes over the last decade - being aired on SABC - promoting the ANC providing low cost housing to people in the townships. More election propaganda?

Needless to say, I have had it with the "look at what we've done" nonsense the current regime and leadership's been punting especially as they really haven't done much that's actually benefited the general populous, myself included, other than demoralise us by embarrassing the whole country in the eyes and general opinion of the rest of the world, it's time to actually deliver on promises you make, take responsibility and bugger the blame card, stop playing family or friend favourites and make appointments based on experience and expertise, lets get the country fixed and give your people something to be proud of again.

This is quite a rant for my first post - and as I'm not very interested in the comings and goings of political circles, it makes me wonder what a more involved person, possibly being more inclined to say or do something is thinking. Regardless, I will be casting my ballot with the rest of the voting public on voting day, just so I'm able to voice my opinions and gripes for the next five years, maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised.